I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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