the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we're making bets on your personal life
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
