He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
