Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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