so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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