"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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