You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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