so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just googled if crying burns calories
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
