I smell stomach acid.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize