I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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