i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
