these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
