College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize