Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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