If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
