I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
