My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My ass is underappreciated
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
