Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
