ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
