Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
