what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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