I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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