Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
nutella sex= disaster
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
