I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
