Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
