Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
