hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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