Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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