he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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