Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
