we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
