Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
