When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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