smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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