piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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