I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
