fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
