we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
