We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
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I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
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You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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