I think scott just propositioned me for sex
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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