I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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