how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
