We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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