Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
