The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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