nut hugger
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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