Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
