I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
