is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
