OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
