my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize