and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
