dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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