I think I am morally bankrupt
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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