shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
