We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
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this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
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Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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