another moral hangover. fuck.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
