i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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