they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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