It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
