I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
