put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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