Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
