I have demons in me.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
