I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
