Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
