there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
babies were throwing up all over the place
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
