We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
